Why does it always seem like our partners intentionally do things that they know frustrate us? They learn fast on both sides what to do, what not to do, and when and how to do things that set us off. Most of the time they are doing those things that irritate us subconsciously or unknowingly. We all have our pet-peeves. In the beginning stages of a relationship we tend to over-look our partners annoying habits like leaving the toilet seat up, clipping nails while watching t.v., or not putting their dirty clothes in the laundry basket that is five steps away. However, lets face it, the newness wears off and the annoying habits are still there slowly driving us closer and close to insanity. This cause us women to create some annoying habits that drive men crazy such as nagging all the time. As you can guess this isn't healthy for a relationship. I myself tend to intentionally and unintentionally do things that I know annoy people and somethings I am unaware I am doing those things to annoy my partner until I am called out on them. (and who likes to be called out or told their habits are annoying to their partner?)
I asked a few of my readers what their partner does that annoys them or what some of their own pet-peeves were. From there I created a list of the top 20 annoying habits. Here it is.
TOP 20 ANNOYING HABITS
1. Texting while on a date
2. Playing too many video games
3. Being clingy
4. Nagging/whining/going off on tangents
5. Being indecisive
6. Being emotionally unresponsive
7. Being bossy
8. Being a know-it-all
9. Bragging/arrogance/conceited
10. Being too jealous
11. Rambling/TMI (to much information)/hinting
12. Being argumentative
13. Making up words to a song because they don't know the real words
14. Blaming all men or assuming all men are bad based on previous relationships
15. Leaving facial hairs in sink
16. Obsessive swearing
17. Cracking knuckles
18. Saying you are "fine" or "not mad" when you really are
19. Being too competitive
20. Being too lazy
There is the top 20 annoying habits as submitted by my friends and readers. I could sit here and go on and on and on with annoying habits and pet-peeves and we all could shake our heads and agree on most all of them (even the ones we ourselves do), but you get the gist of it all. We all have annoying habits and we all have our pet-peeves and the only way to work through them together is open and honest communication with positive actions in change (and we must remain open to the criticism as well if we tend on making it work together) So, remember everyone has their own pet-peeves and annoying habits and we must communicate to overcome them and be willing to change and make the relationship a healthy happy one! EXPRESS DON'T SUPPRESS!!
Monday, August 23, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
THE SIDE EFFECTS OF A DIVORCE
Lets face it, in this day in time divorces are happening about as much as weddings are. There are over one million divorces in the United States each year. According to statistics 50% of all first marriages and 60% of all second marriages end in divorce. Seems like everyone from big time celebrities to your next door neighbor is going through or has gone through a divorce. Whatever happened to "till death do us part" or "through thick and thin good and bad?" I really have no idea as I myself am divorced and experienced my parents divorce in my late teens. It was tough both times as a teenager and as an adult (if you call 23 an adult). Divorces are never easy on anyone and whatever your case may be we all manage to experience a divorce whether directly or indirectly, and guess what it's really not the end of the world. We all manage to pick up and move on one way or another. We are the ones that make it harder on ourselves for many selfish reason I assume. There is no right way or wrong way to deal with a divorce. We just have to pick up the pieces and make the best with what we have left.
Now, with all that said, I would like to take a look at the various ages and the effects a divorce has on them and how they react to it. Once we are aware of the effects and reactions we are then able to do something about them.
When I divorced I was 23 years old and I had just bought a new home, a new car, and had my second child. I had a two year old daughter as well and a lay-off coming at work. You all can imagine what I was going through, but what about my kids? I thought at first, "Awe, they are young and they won't remember a thing." I also thought, "They are so young they won't really be affected by the divorce." As usual I was wrong.
It's been two years since my divorce and I now realize no matter how old or young you are there is a set of emotions and reactions we all experience, react to, and move through.
Let us step back and look at toddlers and preschoolers. Are they too young to be effected by a divorce? Nope, not at all. When going through a divorce the children in this age group are effected by their parents moods, behavior, and attitude. They feel the stress and tension and sense the fear and exhaustion and they themselves react accordingly. They become more aggressive and temper mental. They tend to become more clingy and needy as well. They whine more and seem upset all the time. Definitely no fun time for the already-stressed out and exhausted mom huh?
As we move from the toddlers and preschoolers we get into the age group that is most impacted by a divorce, ages five to eight. These children take a divorce harder than the rest of us. They go though despair, guilt, blame, and a sense of abandonment. They feel caught in the middle and confused. They often start to loose interest in extra curriculum activities and become unsociable and withdrawn. They tell lies and make up stories or act out for attention. They become emotionally unstable and they don't understand why. This is why some parents try to stay together for as long as they can, but in reality it's going to be just as difficult no matter what age they are.
Moving on along, we are now at one of the most awkward age groups. Between the ages of nine and thirteen kids are experiencing a lot already. They are gaining independence, yet still need structural guidance of a parent. They are entering middle school, bodies changing, making new friends, getting a sense of responsibility and what they want to do with their lives and now toss in the added stress and changes in lifestyle that a divorce brings and you have one confused and angry teenager. These children experience physical and emotional side-effects during these hard times. They complain of more stomach problems, headaches, and fatigue. They immerse themselves in vigorous activities to offset their feeling of powerlessness or do the opposite and become withdrawn and unresponsive. They often have a more aggressive behavior from built up anger and tend to act out more for attention. Their self-esteem plunges and they appear depressed. Yet with so much going on with their bodies and development and all the other stresses being added they struggle more than we often know or realize.
Adolescents and young adults are more open minded and understanding of a divorce, but it still isn't easy on them either. They battle the physical and emotional side effects as the children between the ages of nine and thirteen. Adolescents usually have a way to escape through supportive friends and extra curriculum activities. They are easier to talk to and more understanding of the situation and how they feel. They do however tend to become more focused on their life and making it better. Some still take the wrong road in a cry for attention, but overall handle a divorce and excel past it just like the rest of us. Just remember they are forever marked by the experience and emotions they felt.
Lets face it....DIVORCES ARE HARD ON EVERYONE REGARDLESS OF YOUR AGE!! The duration for recovery after a divorce is about one to two years no matter your age. The smoother the divorce the faster the recovery.
So, what can we do to rebuild our lives after a divorce. According to the book DIVORCE & NEW BEGINNINGS by Genevieve Clapp we can do things as a family and individuals to work through a divorce. Listed below are a few things we can do.
1. Ensure children they are loved and the divorce is NOT their fault
2. Talk and work through emotions together and out loud NOT alone
3. Let go of anger
4. Forgive
5. Social Support
6. Re-involve yourself and be active
7. Rebuild self-esteem You are special, beautiful, and loved
8. Rest
9. Regain control and let go what you can't control
10. Overcome your identity crisis
Remember, you are not alone and divorces are hard on everyone involved and we all deal with it differently, but there are things we can all do to make the process of recovery a little easier for everyone involved. REMEMBER EXPRESS DON'T SUPPRESS!!!
Now, with all that said, I would like to take a look at the various ages and the effects a divorce has on them and how they react to it. Once we are aware of the effects and reactions we are then able to do something about them.
When I divorced I was 23 years old and I had just bought a new home, a new car, and had my second child. I had a two year old daughter as well and a lay-off coming at work. You all can imagine what I was going through, but what about my kids? I thought at first, "Awe, they are young and they won't remember a thing." I also thought, "They are so young they won't really be affected by the divorce." As usual I was wrong.
It's been two years since my divorce and I now realize no matter how old or young you are there is a set of emotions and reactions we all experience, react to, and move through.
Let us step back and look at toddlers and preschoolers. Are they too young to be effected by a divorce? Nope, not at all. When going through a divorce the children in this age group are effected by their parents moods, behavior, and attitude. They feel the stress and tension and sense the fear and exhaustion and they themselves react accordingly. They become more aggressive and temper mental. They tend to become more clingy and needy as well. They whine more and seem upset all the time. Definitely no fun time for the already-stressed out and exhausted mom huh?
As we move from the toddlers and preschoolers we get into the age group that is most impacted by a divorce, ages five to eight. These children take a divorce harder than the rest of us. They go though despair, guilt, blame, and a sense of abandonment. They feel caught in the middle and confused. They often start to loose interest in extra curriculum activities and become unsociable and withdrawn. They tell lies and make up stories or act out for attention. They become emotionally unstable and they don't understand why. This is why some parents try to stay together for as long as they can, but in reality it's going to be just as difficult no matter what age they are.
Moving on along, we are now at one of the most awkward age groups. Between the ages of nine and thirteen kids are experiencing a lot already. They are gaining independence, yet still need structural guidance of a parent. They are entering middle school, bodies changing, making new friends, getting a sense of responsibility and what they want to do with their lives and now toss in the added stress and changes in lifestyle that a divorce brings and you have one confused and angry teenager. These children experience physical and emotional side-effects during these hard times. They complain of more stomach problems, headaches, and fatigue. They immerse themselves in vigorous activities to offset their feeling of powerlessness or do the opposite and become withdrawn and unresponsive. They often have a more aggressive behavior from built up anger and tend to act out more for attention. Their self-esteem plunges and they appear depressed. Yet with so much going on with their bodies and development and all the other stresses being added they struggle more than we often know or realize.
Adolescents and young adults are more open minded and understanding of a divorce, but it still isn't easy on them either. They battle the physical and emotional side effects as the children between the ages of nine and thirteen. Adolescents usually have a way to escape through supportive friends and extra curriculum activities. They are easier to talk to and more understanding of the situation and how they feel. They do however tend to become more focused on their life and making it better. Some still take the wrong road in a cry for attention, but overall handle a divorce and excel past it just like the rest of us. Just remember they are forever marked by the experience and emotions they felt.
Lets face it....DIVORCES ARE HARD ON EVERYONE REGARDLESS OF YOUR AGE!! The duration for recovery after a divorce is about one to two years no matter your age. The smoother the divorce the faster the recovery.
So, what can we do to rebuild our lives after a divorce. According to the book DIVORCE & NEW BEGINNINGS by Genevieve Clapp we can do things as a family and individuals to work through a divorce. Listed below are a few things we can do.
1. Ensure children they are loved and the divorce is NOT their fault
2. Talk and work through emotions together and out loud NOT alone
3. Let go of anger
4. Forgive
5. Social Support
6. Re-involve yourself and be active
7. Rebuild self-esteem You are special, beautiful, and loved
8. Rest
9. Regain control and let go what you can't control
10. Overcome your identity crisis
Remember, you are not alone and divorces are hard on everyone involved and we all deal with it differently, but there are things we can all do to make the process of recovery a little easier for everyone involved. REMEMBER EXPRESS DON'T SUPPRESS!!!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
12 COMMON MISTAKES MADE IN A RELATIONSHIP
I've talked recently on relationships and marriage and what to do to keep your relationship from becoming dysfunctional and withering away. Now, I would like to talk to you about some of the common mistakes people make causing strain or discomfort on a relationship.
Since we know I am no expert on relationships, I quickly hit up my faithful facebook friends and networking circle for some suggestions. Normally I don't get a lot of feedback on my post but this time was different. It seemed as if people were eager to to give feedback on their past relationship trouble they experienced. After reviewing all the post I came up with a list of 12 common mistakes made in relationships. Here we go!
1. Expecting your partner to read your mind
2. Letting passion die
3. Taking your partner for granted
4. Thinking you are always right or you know it all
5. Playing the martyr (the one who always gives in at all cost)
6. Openly criticizing/judging your partner
7. Comparing your relationships to other relationships
8. Over-Analyzing
9. Being dishonest about your past, present, or future
10. Trying to change your partner
11. Emotional manipulation such as blame, guilt, or anger
12. Over crowding or being too demanding or needy...controlling due to past insecurities.
Wow, I'm guilty as charged on many accounts! So, with that said why are these mistake so commonly repeated in many relationship? We all at some point in time have committed one or more of these mistakes. Most of the time we are unaware of these actions, and if you are like me you hate to be called out on them as well.
Since I am guilty as charged on many accounts I started thinking and done some talking to some honest friends and I realized why we tend to make these common mistakes...FEAR and INSECURITY from past relationships. I pulled out my notes from my blog on fear. FEAR is simply a perceived loss of control. OUCH! When our fears start to take control we look for a safety net, something secure. Once we loose that security or safety net we start to experience the feelings of hurt, anger, and resentment especially if we worked really hard to make the relationship work. If that fear and pain is not dealt with we end up caring it with us into our next relationship. All that hurt, insecurity, and fear causes us to unconsciously make these common mistakes, setting us up for yet another heartbreak.
After taking all this in for a few moments all I was left with was we need to be open and honest with our partners, and we need to deal with our past demons. Once we are aware of the things we do wrong or our mistakes we can begin to change that behavior and move into a fulfilling and exciting relationship that will last. EXPRESS DON'T SUPPRESS! So, stop repeating those same mistakes and suffering from relationship to relationship. Start now and sit your partner down and talk to each other. Open and honest communication is the key and the beginning!
Since we know I am no expert on relationships, I quickly hit up my faithful facebook friends and networking circle for some suggestions. Normally I don't get a lot of feedback on my post but this time was different. It seemed as if people were eager to to give feedback on their past relationship trouble they experienced. After reviewing all the post I came up with a list of 12 common mistakes made in relationships. Here we go!
1. Expecting your partner to read your mind
2. Letting passion die
3. Taking your partner for granted
4. Thinking you are always right or you know it all
5. Playing the martyr (the one who always gives in at all cost)
6. Openly criticizing/judging your partner
7. Comparing your relationships to other relationships
8. Over-Analyzing
9. Being dishonest about your past, present, or future
10. Trying to change your partner
11. Emotional manipulation such as blame, guilt, or anger
12. Over crowding or being too demanding or needy...controlling due to past insecurities.
Wow, I'm guilty as charged on many accounts! So, with that said why are these mistake so commonly repeated in many relationship? We all at some point in time have committed one or more of these mistakes. Most of the time we are unaware of these actions, and if you are like me you hate to be called out on them as well.
Since I am guilty as charged on many accounts I started thinking and done some talking to some honest friends and I realized why we tend to make these common mistakes...FEAR and INSECURITY from past relationships. I pulled out my notes from my blog on fear. FEAR is simply a perceived loss of control. OUCH! When our fears start to take control we look for a safety net, something secure. Once we loose that security or safety net we start to experience the feelings of hurt, anger, and resentment especially if we worked really hard to make the relationship work. If that fear and pain is not dealt with we end up caring it with us into our next relationship. All that hurt, insecurity, and fear causes us to unconsciously make these common mistakes, setting us up for yet another heartbreak.
After taking all this in for a few moments all I was left with was we need to be open and honest with our partners, and we need to deal with our past demons. Once we are aware of the things we do wrong or our mistakes we can begin to change that behavior and move into a fulfilling and exciting relationship that will last. EXPRESS DON'T SUPPRESS! So, stop repeating those same mistakes and suffering from relationship to relationship. Start now and sit your partner down and talk to each other. Open and honest communication is the key and the beginning!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
KEEP ON KEEPING ON
I'm going to take you on a quick look at my life. I want to show you where I came from and where I am today. Lets keep in mind I'm only going to hit the key points or else we would be here for a long while. So, with that said, let us get started.
February 2, 1985 I was born. I was the first child to my mom and dad. It wasn't long after that before I had a little sister who was born early and very sick. I don't remember much about those days except sleep-overs and coffee (mainly milk) with my granny.
As time went on and my sister and I grew up we both traveled different roads. My dad drank, and had to work a lot to cover all the bills and mom was always depressed and working herself and exhausted. (Now that I am grown I completely understand why she was the way she was) Crystal dove straight into the "bad crowd." I am talking about drugs, sex, alcohol, and whatever else she could get and I hit the books and was involved in band and whatever else I could do to be away from all of them. I was hiding just like everyone else. Dad was hiding in work, mom was hiding in her work and depression, Crystal was hiding in her "crowd" and I was hiding in school.
Since everything was falling apart and nobody had to deal with anything I secretly developed OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) Maybe it was from inappropriate touches from our cousin or just a cry for attention, I really have no idea. I would scrub my hands, cut my face, and much more. I wouldn't use public restrooms and I myself was deeply depressed and guess what now on top of all that I had a little brother on the way and my parents were talking about the big "D" word....divorce. Plus we were in the process of moving back to Virginia from Tennessee and my world was such a mess. After moving back and David being born I was put into counseling, Crystal settled down a little and well David was the only sane person in the house. Mom and dad reconciled and things got better for awhile.
Now, it would be nice if the story ended there and everyone lived happily ever after....not the case here though.
By the time I was 16 I joined my sister's lifestyle and added a little extra to it. Yep, pot, cocaine, acid, alcohol, and parties. I would do anything for a buzz except have sex. My body was not up for sell. Then for the first time at 16 I got my first real boyfriend. Of course he was older and loved to drink, abuse and party. What can I say? I knew nothing more at this point and really didn't care. I didn't feel anything, and that was nice to me. I felt like a zombie, but at least I didn't hurt or feel lost or whatnot anymore. Well, at least that was the illusion.
Illusions are just that...illusionS...and they don't last forever.
As you can guess a relationship like that doesn't last. I wanted more again out of life and he was happy doing what he was doing. However, change was needed and I was still hurting. The drugs wore off and reality started weighing to heavy again, and I guess part of me wasn't willing to change either. I needed a quick fix...the easy way out...a short cut past the pain and I started drinking. I had met another guy who was my drinking buddy/boyfriend and soon-to-be husband. We had a baby and everything was rolling and I couldn't catch up again. We all know an unfaithful, alcoholic, party buddy doesn't make for a good husband but what can I say I had hope things would be different. Boy, was I wrong.
So, to continue on I stopped drinking, we got married, bought a home, a new car, and had another baby on the way when the separation came about. Enough was enough for me. I was flipping out. The years had caught up with me and I had no idea what to do again. I figured change was in need but the reality of the situations and life in general slapped me. I remember standing in our new home reading emails he sent to another woman and suddenly I was my mom. Scary I know. Especially since I said I never wanted to be like her.
My youngest daughter Kaylyn was born three months early fighting for her life was a huge wake up call for me in many areas of my life, but like before things got hard and I tried to take the easy way and started drinking again worse than ever this time. New born baby who was sick, new home, new car, new bills, separation, 23 years old and all my old demons. I finally came to a conclusion that I couldn't live that way. It was really time for a change and time to get some of those old demons off my back.
It has been over two years since that day and my last drink, divorce, and new start. I quickly joined Brentwood Church and started a new path in my life. Has it been easy? Hell NO! Is the temptation of old patterns yelling loud at times? You better believe it, but I have the hope and desire to be a better person and the love of Christ and family that help. So, I just have to "keep on keeping on" as Joe Dirt would say, and that's what I do each day, each battle, and be thankful for each blessing even when it is hard.
February 2, 1985 I was born. I was the first child to my mom and dad. It wasn't long after that before I had a little sister who was born early and very sick. I don't remember much about those days except sleep-overs and coffee (mainly milk) with my granny.
As time went on and my sister and I grew up we both traveled different roads. My dad drank, and had to work a lot to cover all the bills and mom was always depressed and working herself and exhausted. (Now that I am grown I completely understand why she was the way she was) Crystal dove straight into the "bad crowd." I am talking about drugs, sex, alcohol, and whatever else she could get and I hit the books and was involved in band and whatever else I could do to be away from all of them. I was hiding just like everyone else. Dad was hiding in work, mom was hiding in her work and depression, Crystal was hiding in her "crowd" and I was hiding in school.
Since everything was falling apart and nobody had to deal with anything I secretly developed OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) Maybe it was from inappropriate touches from our cousin or just a cry for attention, I really have no idea. I would scrub my hands, cut my face, and much more. I wouldn't use public restrooms and I myself was deeply depressed and guess what now on top of all that I had a little brother on the way and my parents were talking about the big "D" word....divorce. Plus we were in the process of moving back to Virginia from Tennessee and my world was such a mess. After moving back and David being born I was put into counseling, Crystal settled down a little and well David was the only sane person in the house. Mom and dad reconciled and things got better for awhile.
Now, it would be nice if the story ended there and everyone lived happily ever after....not the case here though.
By the time I was 16 I joined my sister's lifestyle and added a little extra to it. Yep, pot, cocaine, acid, alcohol, and parties. I would do anything for a buzz except have sex. My body was not up for sell. Then for the first time at 16 I got my first real boyfriend. Of course he was older and loved to drink, abuse and party. What can I say? I knew nothing more at this point and really didn't care. I didn't feel anything, and that was nice to me. I felt like a zombie, but at least I didn't hurt or feel lost or whatnot anymore. Well, at least that was the illusion.
Illusions are just that...illusionS...and they don't last forever.
As you can guess a relationship like that doesn't last. I wanted more again out of life and he was happy doing what he was doing. However, change was needed and I was still hurting. The drugs wore off and reality started weighing to heavy again, and I guess part of me wasn't willing to change either. I needed a quick fix...the easy way out...a short cut past the pain and I started drinking. I had met another guy who was my drinking buddy/boyfriend and soon-to-be husband. We had a baby and everything was rolling and I couldn't catch up again. We all know an unfaithful, alcoholic, party buddy doesn't make for a good husband but what can I say I had hope things would be different. Boy, was I wrong.
So, to continue on I stopped drinking, we got married, bought a home, a new car, and had another baby on the way when the separation came about. Enough was enough for me. I was flipping out. The years had caught up with me and I had no idea what to do again. I figured change was in need but the reality of the situations and life in general slapped me. I remember standing in our new home reading emails he sent to another woman and suddenly I was my mom. Scary I know. Especially since I said I never wanted to be like her.
My youngest daughter Kaylyn was born three months early fighting for her life was a huge wake up call for me in many areas of my life, but like before things got hard and I tried to take the easy way and started drinking again worse than ever this time. New born baby who was sick, new home, new car, new bills, separation, 23 years old and all my old demons. I finally came to a conclusion that I couldn't live that way. It was really time for a change and time to get some of those old demons off my back.
It has been over two years since that day and my last drink, divorce, and new start. I quickly joined Brentwood Church and started a new path in my life. Has it been easy? Hell NO! Is the temptation of old patterns yelling loud at times? You better believe it, but I have the hope and desire to be a better person and the love of Christ and family that help. So, I just have to "keep on keeping on" as Joe Dirt would say, and that's what I do each day, each battle, and be thankful for each blessing even when it is hard.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
NASCAR NEWS TODAY
Awe, one of my favorite subjects outside of life, religion, and photography to talk about.
There is so much going on in NASCAR right now, but I just want to talk a little bit about a few of the things that has happened this year and some of the highlighted news and changes inside NASCAR and my thoughts behind those changes and new.
It seems as if this has been the year for NASCAR babies. On Monday, August 9, 2010 Jeff Gordan and his wife gave birth to their newest little racer, Leo Benjamin Gordon. Also this year Elliott Sadler, Carl Edwards, Jimmie Johnson, and Juan Pablo Montoya had little racers to their families. So, twenty years from now the legends will still continue to race and NASCAR will still be running strong and even more exciting! Now if only Kasey Kahne and Denny Hamlin would start families of their own soon.
Also, still on a positive note Jack Rousch's condition was updated to "fair" after his plane crashed two weeks ago in Wisconsin.
The next news we have head lining in NASCAR is Paul Menard will be moving to RCR (Richard Childress Motors) from RPM (Richard Petty Motors) and is taking his family owned car (#98) and all his daddy's money with him. Is this a good move? I think so! Even though I think Paul Menard rides on his daddy's money way too much his racing is steadily improving and will do so even more as he learns from other drivers such as Clint Bowyer (#33). This brings me to some more NASCAR news that has been headling NASCAR for several months now.
As we all have heard Kasey Kahne (#9 Budweiser Ford) is also leaving RPM. In 2012 Kasey Kahne is set to drive the #5 car of Mark Martin on HMS (Hendrick Motor Sports) with new teammates Jimmie Johnson, Jeff Gordon, and Dale Earnhardt JR. So, the question has been "Where will Kasey Kahne be in 2011?" Well the answer to that question was finally answered this week. Kasey Kahne will be driving the #83 Toyota Red Bull car of Brian Vickers (whom we have yet to hear of a return date or status update on his condition). So, there we have it. Kasey Kahne will be driving in 2011!
Now lets wrap it up with were we are at in NASCAR this week. Lets take a quick look at the points after Juan Pablo Montoya's sweeping victory at Watkins Glen last week. With only four races until the chase is on, lets take a look to see who will be running and who still has a chance to get in on the action for 2010,
1. Kevin Harvick
2. Jeff Gordon
3. Jeff Burton
4. Kurt Busch
5. Jimmie Johnson
6. Denny Hamlin
7. Kyle Busch
8. Tony Stewart
9. Carl Edwards
10. Matt Kenseth
11. Greg Biffle
12. Mark Martin
Here are your "bubble boys" and points outside of making the chase for 2010 as of this week.
13. Clint Bowyer -10
14. Ryan Newman -83
15. Jamie McMurray -94
16. Dale Earnhardt JR -121
71. Kasey Kahne -133
So, there you have it some of the top head lining news and current standings. This coming Sunday they will take off in Michigan. Lets see who can bring it home. Diggity, diggity, diggity lets go racing!
There is so much going on in NASCAR right now, but I just want to talk a little bit about a few of the things that has happened this year and some of the highlighted news and changes inside NASCAR and my thoughts behind those changes and new.
It seems as if this has been the year for NASCAR babies. On Monday, August 9, 2010 Jeff Gordan and his wife gave birth to their newest little racer, Leo Benjamin Gordon. Also this year Elliott Sadler, Carl Edwards, Jimmie Johnson, and Juan Pablo Montoya had little racers to their families. So, twenty years from now the legends will still continue to race and NASCAR will still be running strong and even more exciting! Now if only Kasey Kahne and Denny Hamlin would start families of their own soon.
Also, still on a positive note Jack Rousch's condition was updated to "fair" after his plane crashed two weeks ago in Wisconsin.
The next news we have head lining in NASCAR is Paul Menard will be moving to RCR (Richard Childress Motors) from RPM (Richard Petty Motors) and is taking his family owned car (#98) and all his daddy's money with him. Is this a good move? I think so! Even though I think Paul Menard rides on his daddy's money way too much his racing is steadily improving and will do so even more as he learns from other drivers such as Clint Bowyer (#33). This brings me to some more NASCAR news that has been headling NASCAR for several months now.
As we all have heard Kasey Kahne (#9 Budweiser Ford) is also leaving RPM. In 2012 Kasey Kahne is set to drive the #5 car of Mark Martin on HMS (Hendrick Motor Sports) with new teammates Jimmie Johnson, Jeff Gordon, and Dale Earnhardt JR. So, the question has been "Where will Kasey Kahne be in 2011?" Well the answer to that question was finally answered this week. Kasey Kahne will be driving the #83 Toyota Red Bull car of Brian Vickers (whom we have yet to hear of a return date or status update on his condition). So, there we have it. Kasey Kahne will be driving in 2011!
Now lets wrap it up with were we are at in NASCAR this week. Lets take a quick look at the points after Juan Pablo Montoya's sweeping victory at Watkins Glen last week. With only four races until the chase is on, lets take a look to see who will be running and who still has a chance to get in on the action for 2010,
1. Kevin Harvick
2. Jeff Gordon
3. Jeff Burton
4. Kurt Busch
5. Jimmie Johnson
6. Denny Hamlin
7. Kyle Busch
8. Tony Stewart
9. Carl Edwards
10. Matt Kenseth
11. Greg Biffle
12. Mark Martin
Here are your "bubble boys" and points outside of making the chase for 2010 as of this week.
13. Clint Bowyer -10
14. Ryan Newman -83
15. Jamie McMurray -94
16. Dale Earnhardt JR -121
71. Kasey Kahne -133
So, there you have it some of the top head lining news and current standings. This coming Sunday they will take off in Michigan. Lets see who can bring it home. Diggity, diggity, diggity lets go racing!
Monday, August 9, 2010
CHILD ABUSE/WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE?
I was on youtube.com the other day looking for a song from a movie called "Letters to God" and instead I found this song "Dear Mr. Jesus" The song is done by a little girl asking God to protect all the little boys and girls from child abuse. Me being a mother of two little girls ached for all the other girls and boys out there in the middle of this song. I got on my knees and prayed. I had no idea what to do but was overwhelmed by the emotion and words of the song. The pictures on the video made it even worse. I was in tears and had to do the research myself. I was quickly pulled back into my own child hood. Abuse comes in so many forms in which I experienced, but I was lucky compared to these little girls and boys. Then I remembered Jon Dupin doing a teaching one Sunday morning on "Why bad things happen to good people?' As you can guess I was looking for my notes from church from that cold Sunday morning.
Found them! When we think of good people and bad people, we are sent into a state of judgement set out there by our society NOT GOD. To God, sin is sin. It all hurts him and will be answered for one day. So, who are we to judge what is good and what is bad if sin is sin. God is judge, NOT US! However, me being human was not content with just that answer. It still fueled the fire growing inside me. The punishment never fits the crime, and the ones that commit these foul acts aren't really even punished by God if they accept Him in prison or where ever they are at nor do they seem to really struggle as we have a cozy prison enviroment compared to other countries. Doesn't God love us and protect us? Sure don't seem like it. Lets take a look at the statics from a few years ago.
In 2006 it was estimated 1530 children in the US died to some form of abuse/neglect. That number steadily rose an additional 230 more kids in the United States by 2007. Yeah it is on the rise, and this is just what we know of. In 2007 the increase averaged out to be 2.35 children per 100,000 and out of that figure 51.1% were little girls and 48.2% were boys. These children either died from malnutrition, sexual abuse, physical abuse, or just plain neglect. In 2007 out of all the deaths that occurred 78% were under the age of 4. By God does your heart just melt at that? Also, out of the amount for 2007, 97.5% died by the abuse/neglect by their biological parents. People we trust. I'm horrified at the numbers and the fact that this is growing from year-to-year. Does God even care anymore? In 2002 there was almost 53K little boys and girls around the world that were killed due to abuse/neglect. How, can we be satisfied with this growing issue?
Lets try to look at this from a spiritual point-of-view. Romans 8 is where I am referencing from now. Why would God allow this to happen, such injustice, unbelief, and despair. This pain and hurt that leads us to questions Gods intentions and love for His children? In chapter 8 Paul is writing and states that we live in a world of suffering and pain. We live in a fallen and unfair world and a world that knows good and evil. However, above that we have God's promise to redeem and make new again. In Romans 3 Paul talks about how we categorize people when we ourselves are sinners. As I stated sin is sin. Period.
God doesn't categorize for that reason and He doesn't see as good or bad for we all sin and it all is hurtful to God. We need to understand that sin is sin and by His grace we are saved and all will be redeemed. God always makes right what is wrong. We will be punished for our sins and He waits patiently on the wicked so that we may have the opportunity to experience His grace. God says surrender for everyone has sinned and fallen short and we are all equal and God doesn't judge our sin to levels of bad to worse because sin is sin. So, we should NOT judge and take each situation as a way to draw ourselves and others closer to Him instead of sitting on the side line judging others and pulling further away from God and His grace. So quit judging what is good and what is bad because as stated before SIN IS SIN and all sin hurts God and pulls us away from Him. Just trust in His promise to redeem and make new even if we don't understand at that moment, God knows what is best for us and He will never leave us nor forsake us. Just trust.
Found them! When we think of good people and bad people, we are sent into a state of judgement set out there by our society NOT GOD. To God, sin is sin. It all hurts him and will be answered for one day. So, who are we to judge what is good and what is bad if sin is sin. God is judge, NOT US! However, me being human was not content with just that answer. It still fueled the fire growing inside me. The punishment never fits the crime, and the ones that commit these foul acts aren't really even punished by God if they accept Him in prison or where ever they are at nor do they seem to really struggle as we have a cozy prison enviroment compared to other countries. Doesn't God love us and protect us? Sure don't seem like it. Lets take a look at the statics from a few years ago.
In 2006 it was estimated 1530 children in the US died to some form of abuse/neglect. That number steadily rose an additional 230 more kids in the United States by 2007. Yeah it is on the rise, and this is just what we know of. In 2007 the increase averaged out to be 2.35 children per 100,000 and out of that figure 51.1% were little girls and 48.2% were boys. These children either died from malnutrition, sexual abuse, physical abuse, or just plain neglect. In 2007 out of all the deaths that occurred 78% were under the age of 4. By God does your heart just melt at that? Also, out of the amount for 2007, 97.5% died by the abuse/neglect by their biological parents. People we trust. I'm horrified at the numbers and the fact that this is growing from year-to-year. Does God even care anymore? In 2002 there was almost 53K little boys and girls around the world that were killed due to abuse/neglect. How, can we be satisfied with this growing issue?
Lets try to look at this from a spiritual point-of-view. Romans 8 is where I am referencing from now. Why would God allow this to happen, such injustice, unbelief, and despair. This pain and hurt that leads us to questions Gods intentions and love for His children? In chapter 8 Paul is writing and states that we live in a world of suffering and pain. We live in a fallen and unfair world and a world that knows good and evil. However, above that we have God's promise to redeem and make new again. In Romans 3 Paul talks about how we categorize people when we ourselves are sinners. As I stated sin is sin. Period.
God doesn't categorize for that reason and He doesn't see as good or bad for we all sin and it all is hurtful to God. We need to understand that sin is sin and by His grace we are saved and all will be redeemed. God always makes right what is wrong. We will be punished for our sins and He waits patiently on the wicked so that we may have the opportunity to experience His grace. God says surrender for everyone has sinned and fallen short and we are all equal and God doesn't judge our sin to levels of bad to worse because sin is sin. So, we should NOT judge and take each situation as a way to draw ourselves and others closer to Him instead of sitting on the side line judging others and pulling further away from God and His grace. So quit judging what is good and what is bad because as stated before SIN IS SIN and all sin hurts God and pulls us away from Him. Just trust in His promise to redeem and make new even if we don't understand at that moment, God knows what is best for us and He will never leave us nor forsake us. Just trust.
MARRIAGE JUST A PIECE OF PAPER?
Marriage:
I was asked what is marriage but a piece of paper? The statement behind that was "We live as if we are married so what we don’t have a certificate." I on the other hand feel very convicted from the "pretend" marriage. Almost like he loves me very much, but doesn’t trust me , treasure me above all things or Im only good in this roll because at any time something better might come along. Going on two years in November I have deceived God, sold my self, limited myself, surrendered what I know to be right to do what I want with justification, and much more. I do hold marriage to high standard and hate the fact that I failed so horribly at it the first go round, and terrified of giving it another try, even though it was not all my fault last time he did as he did leaving a huge sense of low self worth, and confidence in myself. "Im never enough" or "Im not enough or worthy enough" runs in my head all day, all night, every day and every night. This holds me back. Not being able to react or express how I honestly feel without upsetting others (because they don’t see things my way or I end up just being made to feel like how I feel is wrong or what I think is wrong so therefore something is wrong with me)really loads a lot inside and effects everything around me and holds me back from being honest with myself and others. With that a brick wall, hurt, confusion, and a false reality, and distant relationship from God as I long so much to be all He wants me to be because I really believe He has a plan and a purpose for me. Im just too selfish, and too hard headed right now to allow it to happen (lets think about the blog I did on FEAR, ring ring Amanda comfort zone familiar area that Im use to )
Marriage is not just a piece of paper.
My best friend of over 20 years is getting married in July. I am so happy for her. I wish nothing but the best for her. However, I have done nothing to show it. In fact painted an ugly picture of what a marriage can be like so she would fully think it through. She has never lived with him how can she really know him? I let my own past and failure and fear and pride get in the way of her excitement. How selfish of me once again.
Marriage is a job, a day in and day out commitment in good and bad. It is a friendship above all others. This person you wake up with and go to bed with is your best friend and shadow. Where you go they go. Always your fan with love and respected critism. You are the one they picked (pride) above all others to share this walk in life with hand in hand. It is very symbolic in public you are taken and proud of it. A good marriage is something that even in the bad times in life can pull together and bring you out of it and make you each strong as individuals and as a unit of husband and wife. Marriage is a completion on many levels physically, mentally, and spiritually. It is the completed triangle that God intended between Him, man, and woman. It is an alliance between two people and the one they serve. It is sharing, compromising (
Gay Hendricks: One of the first things a relationship therapist learns is that couples argue to burn up energy that could be used for something else. In fact, arguments often serve the purpose of using up energy, so that the couple does not have to take the courageous, creative leap into an unknown they fear. Arguing serves the function of being a zone of familiarity into which you can retreat when you are afraid of making a creative breakthrough.), give and take, respect, sacred, and sacraficing on both parties not just one all the time. A unit of understanding and common goals. It is a shoulder, a tissue, a helping hand,trust, belief in something bigger than yourself, a word of advice, a partnership unbreakable, a huge honor that shines everywhere even in the dark, and encouragement. This is why marriage is so difficult. Not everyone involved is on the same page and so the tug-a-war starts in one area and keeps going until one can not tug anymore and gives in or gives up or both. That is not how it was intended.
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ~Simone Signoret
I was asked what is marriage but a piece of paper? The statement behind that was "We live as if we are married so what we don’t have a certificate." I on the other hand feel very convicted from the "pretend" marriage. Almost like he loves me very much, but doesn’t trust me , treasure me above all things or Im only good in this roll because at any time something better might come along. Going on two years in November I have deceived God, sold my self, limited myself, surrendered what I know to be right to do what I want with justification, and much more. I do hold marriage to high standard and hate the fact that I failed so horribly at it the first go round, and terrified of giving it another try, even though it was not all my fault last time he did as he did leaving a huge sense of low self worth, and confidence in myself. "Im never enough" or "Im not enough or worthy enough" runs in my head all day, all night, every day and every night. This holds me back. Not being able to react or express how I honestly feel without upsetting others (because they don’t see things my way or I end up just being made to feel like how I feel is wrong or what I think is wrong so therefore something is wrong with me)really loads a lot inside and effects everything around me and holds me back from being honest with myself and others. With that a brick wall, hurt, confusion, and a false reality, and distant relationship from God as I long so much to be all He wants me to be because I really believe He has a plan and a purpose for me. Im just too selfish, and too hard headed right now to allow it to happen (lets think about the blog I did on FEAR, ring ring Amanda comfort zone familiar area that Im use to )
Marriage is not just a piece of paper.
My best friend of over 20 years is getting married in July. I am so happy for her. I wish nothing but the best for her. However, I have done nothing to show it. In fact painted an ugly picture of what a marriage can be like so she would fully think it through. She has never lived with him how can she really know him? I let my own past and failure and fear and pride get in the way of her excitement. How selfish of me once again.
Marriage is a job, a day in and day out commitment in good and bad. It is a friendship above all others. This person you wake up with and go to bed with is your best friend and shadow. Where you go they go. Always your fan with love and respected critism. You are the one they picked (pride) above all others to share this walk in life with hand in hand. It is very symbolic in public you are taken and proud of it. A good marriage is something that even in the bad times in life can pull together and bring you out of it and make you each strong as individuals and as a unit of husband and wife. Marriage is a completion on many levels physically, mentally, and spiritually. It is the completed triangle that God intended between Him, man, and woman. It is an alliance between two people and the one they serve. It is sharing, compromising (
Gay Hendricks: One of the first things a relationship therapist learns is that couples argue to burn up energy that could be used for something else. In fact, arguments often serve the purpose of using up energy, so that the couple does not have to take the courageous, creative leap into an unknown they fear. Arguing serves the function of being a zone of familiarity into which you can retreat when you are afraid of making a creative breakthrough.), give and take, respect, sacred, and sacraficing on both parties not just one all the time. A unit of understanding and common goals. It is a shoulder, a tissue, a helping hand,trust, belief in something bigger than yourself, a word of advice, a partnership unbreakable, a huge honor that shines everywhere even in the dark, and encouragement. This is why marriage is so difficult. Not everyone involved is on the same page and so the tug-a-war starts in one area and keeps going until one can not tug anymore and gives in or gives up or both. That is not how it was intended.
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ~Simone Signoret
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