MARRIAGE JUST A PIECE OF PAPER?

Marriage:
I was asked what is marriage but a piece of paper? The statement behind that was "We live as if we are married so what we don’t have a certificate." I on the other hand feel very convicted from the "pretend" marriage. Almost like he loves me very much, but doesn’t trust me , treasure me above all things or Im only good in this roll because at any time something better might come along. Going on two years in November I have deceived God, sold my self, limited myself, surrendered what I know to be right to do what I want with justification, and much more. I do hold marriage to high standard and hate the fact that I failed so horribly at it the first go round, and terrified of giving it another try, even though it was not all my fault last time he did as he did leaving a huge sense of low self worth, and confidence in myself. "Im never enough" or "Im not enough or worthy enough" runs in my head all day, all night, every day and every night. This holds me back. Not being able to react or express how I honestly feel without upsetting others (because they don’t see things my way or I end up just being made to feel like how I feel is wrong or what I think is wrong so therefore something is wrong with me)really loads a lot inside and effects everything around me and holds me back from being honest with myself and others. With that a brick wall, hurt, confusion, and a false reality, and distant relationship from God as I long so much to be all He wants me to be because I really believe He has a plan and a purpose for me. Im just too selfish, and too hard headed right now to allow it to happen (lets think about the blog I did on FEAR, ring ring Amanda comfort zone familiar area that Im use to )

Marriage is not just a piece of paper.

My best friend of over 20 years is getting married in July. I am so happy for her. I wish nothing but the best for her. However, I have done nothing to show it. In fact painted an ugly picture of what a marriage can be like so she would fully think it through. She has never lived with him how can she really know him? I let my own past and failure and fear and pride get in the way of her excitement. How selfish of me once again.

　

Marriage is a job, a day in and day out commitment in good and bad. It is a friendship above all others. This person you wake up with and go to bed with is your best friend and shadow. Where you go they go. Always your fan with love and respected critism. You are the one they picked (pride) above all others to share this walk in life with hand in hand. It is very symbolic in public you are taken and proud of it. A good marriage is something that even in the bad times in life can pull together and bring you out of it and make you each strong as individuals and as a unit of husband and wife. Marriage is a completion on many levels physically, mentally, and spiritually. It is the completed triangle that God intended between Him, man, and woman. It is an alliance between two people and the one they serve. It is sharing, compromising (

Gay Hendricks: One of the first things a relationship therapist learns is that couples argue to burn up energy that could be used for something else. In fact, arguments often serve the purpose of using up energy, so that the couple does not have to take the courageous, creative leap into an unknown they fear. Arguing serves the function of being a zone of familiarity into which you can retreat when you are afraid of making a creative breakthrough.), give and take, respect, sacred, and sacraficing on both parties not just one all the time. A unit of understanding and common goals. It is a shoulder, a tissue, a helping hand,trust, belief in something bigger than yourself, a word of advice, a partnership unbreakable, a huge honor that shines everywhere even in the dark, and encouragement. This is why marriage is so difficult. Not everyone involved is on the same page and so the tug-a-war starts in one area and keeps going until one can not tug anymore and gives in or gives up or both. That is not how it was intended.

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ~Simone Signoret